Hieronim fur Bundeskanzler, 2008!

Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement. I, Hieronim, will be moving across the great pond to Europe in the coming year. I will settle in the small town of Waltrams, Germany. I have decided that their political system is in shambles. I mean, what's with more than two parties? I have a difficult time distinguishing the difference between our two, let alone the 76 parties they all got over there. As an undereducated individual, I feel that if one of us can win 49% of the vote here in the US and rise to power, Germany should be a cake walk. My plan is simple: Pick one dumb, stoopid, insignificant issue that will exactly divide the voting public in half, giving me a 49%/51% chance of successfully losing the vote, and then take over control of the nation.

Read this article: Autobahn Deaths Force Germans to Rethink Passion for Speed. I feel that this is an issue that can sharply divide that nation. "Wacky" Patacki won the governorship of New York by promising a higher speed limit and a death penalty. I will win the Chancellorship of Germany by choosing to back a limitation on Autobahn speedlimits. Or not. I haven't really decided yet. (But that doesn't really matter.) I'm so excited over the prospect of running my own country, I almost just peeed myself.