How Not to be THAT Customer.
Yes you are surprised that someone of my intellect works in a measly, customer service-oriented field, while someone of yours has a good job. (Presumably.) However, dealing with the public is what keeps me going. If it were not for the years of experience in positions like this one, I would not be able to say with confidence that I am more intelligent and posses greater sense than 85% of the populace, (95% on weekends,) nor would I have so much material and ammunition. I digress to the matter at hand.
You are annoying.
"What?" you say.
You are annoying. (Provided that you can answer "yes" to this question: You have at some point bought something from somewhere.) You are an idiot, and dealing with you everyday chips away at my brain. Do you actually believe that the cashiers at Wal Mart are as dumb as they appear to be? Au contrere, most of them hold college degrees, and at one point were nose breathers. YOU made them the way they are now.
This is a plea from the world of retail to, well, the world. Please hear me before I suffer the same fate as my Wal Mart brethren. Read what I lay before you, and save us all.
1) Listen to the Boy Scouts. "Be prepared" is their motto, and prepared is what you should be. If you go to the bank, fill out your deposit slip BEFORE you go to the counter. When you're in line at McDonald's, decide what you want BEFORE you get to the counter. (That is the reason you can read their menu at 150 yards, and their menu hasn't changed in 45 years anyway.)
Guess what? Shit ain't free. Have your money handy. When you are digging for your cash or credit card you are impeding progress. Not only are you annoying the clerk, but you are annoying the people behind you who are prepared. (Ladies, are purses necessary? I understand the small ones which are basically wallets with a strap, but aren't your duffelbag-sized ones a bit silly?)
2) Enjoy the Silence. Do not speak. The only words you should utter are "please" and "thank you". I know it's snowing outside, I have windows to. Yes, I am aware that it is hot out. I to am allowed outside from time to time, and for Christ's sake it's July. The clerk may not be a republican/democrat/christian/jew/gay/straight, so it's best to play it safe and keep your idiotic comments to yourself. Get my drift?
3) Your Shit Stinks. Do not believe otherwise. All shit stinks.
That's all. Three simple rules, all very followable. I could go on with others, but that would be asking for too much. Baby steps, baby steps.
You are annoying.
"What?" you say.
You are annoying. (Provided that you can answer "yes" to this question: You have at some point bought something from somewhere.) You are an idiot, and dealing with you everyday chips away at my brain. Do you actually believe that the cashiers at Wal Mart are as dumb as they appear to be? Au contrere, most of them hold college degrees, and at one point were nose breathers. YOU made them the way they are now.
This is a plea from the world of retail to, well, the world. Please hear me before I suffer the same fate as my Wal Mart brethren. Read what I lay before you, and save us all.
1) Listen to the Boy Scouts. "Be prepared" is their motto, and prepared is what you should be. If you go to the bank, fill out your deposit slip BEFORE you go to the counter. When you're in line at McDonald's, decide what you want BEFORE you get to the counter. (That is the reason you can read their menu at 150 yards, and their menu hasn't changed in 45 years anyway.)
Guess what? Shit ain't free. Have your money handy. When you are digging for your cash or credit card you are impeding progress. Not only are you annoying the clerk, but you are annoying the people behind you who are prepared. (Ladies, are purses necessary? I understand the small ones which are basically wallets with a strap, but aren't your duffelbag-sized ones a bit silly?)
2) Enjoy the Silence. Do not speak. The only words you should utter are "please" and "thank you". I know it's snowing outside, I have windows to. Yes, I am aware that it is hot out. I to am allowed outside from time to time, and for Christ's sake it's July. The clerk may not be a republican/democrat/christian/jew/gay/straight, so it's best to play it safe and keep your idiotic comments to yourself. Get my drift?
3) Your Shit Stinks. Do not believe otherwise. All shit stinks.
That's all. Three simple rules, all very followable. I could go on with others, but that would be asking for too much. Baby steps, baby steps.
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