The World's Best Laxative.

If you're feeling, well, "stuffy", in my days I have discovered this to be an effective laxative:

Wake up and eat nothing all day. About 5 hours before you go to bed, start drinking Guinness. The draught works better than the extra stout. If you can actually go to a bar and get tap Guinness that works best, otherwise use the cans or bottles. Drink about, oh, 8-12. Then when you wake up drink a couple of cups of coffee. You will be clean in no time.